The River of Life

 Imagine this.

I am standing on the back deck where I work, looking at the San Diego river.  Behind a bin a worker left some paint some time ago, with a black plastic drop cloth covering the cans.  We have had some rain.  We have had some wind blowing a bit of dirt I am sure.  And there the seeds blew, and sprouted into living plants.  There?  Inspiring me to write?

Imagine that!

The river flows,

Where it may roam,

The river flows,

From start to home,

Water finds a way,

Wearing rock in time,

Finding easy passage,

Seldom in straight line.

Life is the same,

In persistence will last,

Always finding ways,

In what comes to pass,

As fire burns the forest,

Bringing ash and woe,

The canopy is cleared,

That new seeds grow.

The orchestration plays,

The conductor never sways,

In always finding ways,

The music does persist,

How often does it show,

In sights that we all know,

The magic does not slow,

That’s why we do exist.

Bliss,

Wonder,

Rain,

Thunder,

Pain,

Pride,

Around,

Inside.

How can it be denied?

In the cracks,

Green rises,

Life’s magic,

Love’s surprises,

Seen in  smallest things,

Hear creation sing,

And know your answers,

Will come in the flow.

The Most Powerful Song I Know

The End? - Written on 12/20/12

Tomorrow is the day,

The Mayans said it all would end,

Perhaps right in a way,

With no Mayan left to ask,

But what has come to pass?

And where are we today?

When the smallest of lives,

Are no longer safe,

And they fear to go to school,

I feel as if a fool,

For where was I to act,

Before we reached this place?

On the 20th this day,

In 2012,

I know what I can say,

For I was called to stir hearts,

And to give strong words,

I can not think to write,

Writing what my heart has heard,

As I am doing now,

In a waiting room,

Looking for a safety rope,

To the human race a teather,

Could it be that we all have it?

For we are here together,

Praying God where are you,

While our ears don't hear a word,

Stop now,

Listen,

Still,

And thrill,

Souls,

Glisten,

Light,

Emmisson,

Hearts,

Surround,

Hear the sound,

Music of love,

Resounds from above,

Look at the crowd,

Sisters,

Brothers,

We are in this together,

God gave through love,

Gifts that astound,

Patience that abounds,

If we do not see,

Towards feeling again,

Then we will truly,

Be at the end.

Vicki's Gift - A Commemoration of Vicki Soto of Sandy Hook Elementary

 Victoria Soto

Dear Carlee,

I wish I could have found a picture of your sister with her students.  I can see her in my mind listening to their words like no other.  When I found out what happened I was just trying to get to my email.  I could not stop crying.  Yet in this world when so many just think of themselves, your sister became the example of thinking of others.  Vicki is the example of love.  

When I write, I don't try to think up things to write.  It either comes to me or it does not.  This came to me and it was one I had to write through tears.  I believe it expresses love and connections.  It expresses the horrific pain of loss which is beyond my comprehension, even after my brother was killed by a guy named Ron in Atlanta who was doing drugs at the time.  There is simply no way to understand.  

I will remember your sister's bravery.  I will remember your sister's love.  I will remember that in spite of someone's best efforts, there will be a universe of children who will live on this world descending from the lives she saved.

Sincerely,

Eric

The bond of the heart,
Can't be satisfied by touch,
The hearts reside together,
Yet the pain is too much,
One stretching arms to Heaven,
As tears fulfill her eyes,
One reaching out below,
Both wondering why,
As one lived for children,
She took them under wing,
By giving them her heart,
She taught their hearts to sing,
You know how she was with them,
When they spoke she listened,
Learning from their words,
Her eyes would simply glisten,
They live because she lived,
She knew the truth of love,
By placing their lives first,
As God did from above,
She knew that if they lived,
The battle would be won,
Perhaps for this same reason,
God gave his only Son,
And so one sister lives,
By carrying the other's heart,
And many more do live,
Because she did impart,
As they have families too,
Their children will hear,
The precious gift of Vicki,
One they hold so dear.

Reflections - For Families of Sandy Hook Elemetary

Just hearing the news I could not imagine racing to my daughter's school from work, wondering if she was alive or dead.  So many parents faced this horror today.  I do not know what to say, and prayed to God for the right words.  Sometimes just being there is the best thing.  Please keep them all in your prayers.

I see them there,

As I come around,

They are smiling to me,

Always contagious,

Very outgoing,

Your burdens lift,

When in their presence,

I feel it every time,

It hits me again,

Later in the day,

Outside in the laughter,

In the crowd I hear them,

I see them from behind,

Approaching with joy,

I want to be there,

Just to laugh with them,

Their images disappear,

Along with their lives,

Taken from them suddenly,

Stolen from our hearts,

They were killed,

With homework undone,

With hearts untouched,

Other lives to be won,

Love to be unleashed,

Felt in other arms,

Their children will never be,

All of this taken from me,

With a shot to my heart,

Yet my mind is reeling,

For why do I see them?

Is the pain too much for me?

Was this more than I could see?

Can I not accept they are gone?

I can’t keep seeing them,

My sanity begs for mercy,

Through the veil of my tears,

Yet why are they smiling,

When I see them now?

Could it be they are well?

Happy in Heaven’s fold,

In a paradise of no pain,

No memory of wrongs done,

If God is really out there,

Then they are with Him,

If they are truly with Him,

Then what am I seeing?

Why would God allow that,

If He truly loves me?

Perhaps it is a sign,

Knowing what is real,

And they are in paradise,

Is a vision I am given,

To allow me to heal,

I know they are not here,

They cannot truly be,

Perhaps it is reflections,

Accounting for what I see,

As an image bends on water,

I cannot see them clearly,

But I can see enough,

Since I can see beauty,

I cannot explain,

Why tragedy strikes,

From freedom of will,

Which he placed in existence,

So that the likes of us,

Have the power to transform,

The power to change lives,

Or bring them to an end,

If he placed such a thing,

As free will in my hand,

I will help others with it,

Those grieving around me,
To show them what I see,

So that they have truth,

Knowing life is still precious,

Our friends our in our hearts,

And as we hold each others hands,

Nothing can destroy love.

Believe - For Christmas 2012

Living Colors - In Honor of Ron Dias (1937-2013)

I wrote this inspired by a friend my wife and I came to know near Monterey, California.  He is Ron Dias, an animator who worked with Disney for at least 50 years.  If you meet him face to face, you could not help but smile.  Even with a phone call from hundreds of miles away, I always felt elated and ready to face anything after hearing his voice.  What I am trying to say is that his illustrations merely show the magic that lives on from his life, something that can only exist where faith fuels love.  As one who loves God, I could only empathize with him.  In his older years he watched CGI replace human animation.  He had also seen his ability to paint leave him.  One thing I could not allow to leave this man was his joy, and we shared that each time we could talk with each other.  As long as I live, I will go on sharing his joy and force of life with others.

Where is magic born?

In what does it reside?

It can be found anywhere,

Where the heart can truly see,

That’s how magic is found,

And how it came to me,

Upon a day in Monterey,

Thanksgiving we did share,

In sharing we did speak,

A gentleman we did meet,

The warmest smile ever,

A laugh that filled the heart,

He drew a gift for my girl,

A princess on a napkin,

A fairy in our hearts,

Tinkerbell came to life,

With love through his hand,

In fantasy all of his life,

Making characters real,

Giving warmth of heart,

Adding to our world,

Since he was a young man,

Sleeping Beauty made us fans,

That world became part of ours,

Through magic in his hand,

His pen gave ladies beauty,

His pen gave men their charm,

Bringing fear from their foes,

And saving them from harm,

Our childhood dreams were full,

Imagination was our light,

Giving creation to creativity,

All throughout his life,

Yet time must see progress,

And technology paves a way,

As computers now draw for us,

The animators with us,

Saw an end to their day,

Yet my friend keeps smiling,

And I for him,

We fan our fires,

To not grow dim,

For the magic he imparts,

Will always find safe haven,

Deep within my heart.

The Touch (for Ewa Błaszczyk and family)

There is a Polish actress named Ewa Błaszczyk (Polish link, but shows Ewa's daughter Ola) who suffered the loss of her husband, and a terrible accident with her daughter Ola.  Ola lost partial function in her brain leaving her unable to speak or move.  In a documentary about her, I was amazed at Ola's responsiveness and signs of understanding.  Further interviews with people who have come out of this state reveal first hand accounts of what it is like to be trapped inside a body you can not communicate with, when your mind is sound.  Ewa and her other daughter have poured over 10 years of love and support into Ola so she can have what life may be possible to enjoy.  She has also started a foundation called Akogo to find cures to such neurological ailments.  If you can help people by supporting this or another neurology foundation in your own company, do so.  In the end, love will overcome all obstacles.

 Ewa and daughters before the accident

Ewa and daughter Ola after the accident

The accident happened,

The injury came,

Everything changed,

All of a sudden,

She could not talk,

Unable to move,

I look in her eyes,

My daughter is still,

She is still my heart,

My mind is torn,

Destroying my heart,

For love is powerful,

And I feel so week,

There is no escape,

Even in my sleep.

The accident happened,

And this I do know,

There is so much to say,

Which I cannot show,

My mother stays with me,

With strength of love,

Each day I must face,

Trapped inside this place,

Why did God allow this,

To happen to me?

Trying to move,

As they care for me,

Trying to speak,

Just one single word,

Yet I remain unheard.

I reach to my daughter,

Just one single touch,

Her eyes speak the words,

I love you so much,

A tear in my eye,

I try not to cry,

With wordless talk,

As limitations abound,

So many unaware,
In their lives out there,

Yet love overcomes,

This and much more,

Giving our lives meaning,

For God gave us touch,

To open this door.

Life Life Alive!

UPDATE!

Olivia's concert to benefit research for a cure to Multiple Sclerosis was a huge hit!  See the article here! 

I recently heard that Olivia Newton-John will perform for an MS Society benefit on Deceber 11th.  I wrote this inspired by someone my wife and I know.  You would never know she has MS, and I am going to keep things that way.  What I can tell you is that when she was given the diagnosis and news of defeat, she rose to victory through faith and passion for life.  She simply said, "If I am well must life like I am well.  If I am sick I must live like I am well."  I have never heard more powerful words of living what you pray for, or a better example of strength.  No one ever can know what will happen, but we all must choose the directions we will take.  That is what affects where we are going.  Please support the MS Society in their work towards a cure.

I was young and beautiful,
Strong and free,
Living life full,
Being all I could be,
When suddenly something,
Came out of the blue,
When it struck my soul,
I did not know what to do.

The doctor told me,
There is not a cure,
What I would have left,
I was not even sure,
Would I lose mobility?
This was more than fear,
And all I could do,
Was hold to those dear.

Whether I'm sick,
Whether I thrive,
I will survive,
Live life alive!

This is no trick,
This is no lie,
Truth will survive,
Live life alive!

I looked in the mirror,
Not sure what to see,
My husband looked on,
At the beauty in me,
He was by my side,
And with me he prayed,
To find out the answers,
And live from this day.

The doctor did tell me,
That I became ill,
But what was not spoken,
Was my force of will,
To live life alive,
No matter what comes,
For life is a blessing,
Which can't be undone!

Whether I'm sick,
Whether I thrive,
I will survive,
Live life alive!


This is no trick,
This is no lie,
Truth will survive,
Live life alive!

There are no answers,
Of why things must occur,
They happen so fast,
That life can be blurred,
When walking or not,
One thing does stand true,
We are each given life,
For what we must do.

I am loved by my daugter,
I am loved by my man,
What must happen happens,
Through love we will stand,
Will we let something stop us,
Or will we see blessings through?
Whether we live our lives loving,
The choice is for you!

Whether I'm sick,
Whether I thrive,
I will survive,
Live life alive!


This is no trick,
This is no lie,
Truth will survive,
Live life alive!

My Ride on The Polar Express

Inspired by my daughter Jessica's joy in riding the Polar Express in Durango, Colorado

   

I scarcely could believe,

The magic in my heart,

Reality approaches,

And reason encroaches,

To take the magic away,

I thought it might prevail,

Until that fateful day,

For in the town of Durango,

I stood on a winter's night,

My parents by my side,

And many standing near,

Until the crowd began to cheer,

And through a cloud of steam,

It rolled in from the night,

Black clad iron grandeur,

The Polar Express came into sight,

We boarded with our hearts,

Leaping from our chests,

Into the vintage cars,

Adorned with all the best,

 Christmas colors abound,

The conductor's voice did sound,

And with a whistle blow,

We rolled away from town,

Under way to Santa's land,

With hot chocolate soon in hand,

To the North Pole we did roll,

Through the night stars cold and grand,

Then the lights did come in sight,

Where the elves did laugh and play,

And as we rounded round the track,

We saw Santa on his sleigh,

For the train came round his side,

Then he boarded for the ride,

Under the darkest cloak of night,

My excitement could not hide,

As footsteps creaked the floor,

I swung round towards the door,

I never heard it open,

For the one children adore,

Who came close by my side,

Near my ear so he could tell,

That my wish would be his joy,

As he gave me a sleigh bell,

For later on that night,

As I lie there in my bed,

With the magic in my head,

Knowing it would never depart,

For Christmas lives forever,

If you believe love in your heart.

The Tail of Black and White

 

The wanderings of my wife and I took us far into the back country outside of Durango, where the biggest roads and county highways seemed to be all made of dirt.  In this mountain scene we did pass missing posters of some black and white puppies.  My daughter Jessica did worry for them for sometime.  I said when we get back home, we could write a story about them with a happy ending, seeing them safe though our faith in spite of dangers and things we could not control.  I do not know the fate of the puppies, but I have written this for my daughter Jessica.

Upon a mountain ranch,

They did play and roam,

The wild skies of Durango,

Is where they did call home,

They ran with the children,

Within the warmth of day,

They chased young horses,

When they came for hay.

Yet a sharp noise scared them,

And they did run from home,

White running with Black,

They lost scent of home,

Amidst the dark trees,

Before the bright moon light,

They kept each other warm,

Through the coldest night.

A low growl awoke them,

And sent them running scared,

So they would not be alone,

God did have them paired,

Behind a looming rock,

White did follow Black,

Crouched low amist the brush,

They did avoid attack,

In morning light did come,

Beneath the tall pine trees,

And showed them both this bush,

Was covered in sweet berries,

A breakfast they did have,

Then licked their purple lips,

Wagging both their tails,

Continued on their trip.

Passing plenty papers posted,

Where pictures of them stand,

The wind did change direction,

And fate did change its plan,

God blew scent unto them,

To where they both did roam,

Which then safely lead them,

To the sweet embrace of home.

Flight of the Heart

Have you ever made something and found joy in giving it?  It is the joy of creation and an act of love combined.  I think God gave this to us in the fact that all the things we combine to eat are found in such various locations.  I think God inspires this in us by giving a heart after him which creates a passion to overcome limitations, and go beyond.  This came inspired by the Grand Canyon, and all our hearts could touch.

Upon this ground we stand,

Looking up into the infinite,

Wishing we could soar,

Yet we are without wings,

As God made us wingless,

So we could soar higher,

For what is out of reach,

Instills a passionate fire,

God made us finless,

So we can explore depths,

Diving deeper than whales,

Exploring fully his wonder,

God blocked our vision,

With the wall of the horizon,

So that our hearts would inspire,

The exploration of creation,

Satisfied with the here,

We explore beyond the air,

Placing stars within grasp,

For our descendants to aspire,

All of this I see,

With arms outstretched,

Over the great canyon,

Where my spirit can soar.

To Leave Where You Love

Out of place,

A familiar place,

With faces I know,

To where I work,

To where I sleep,

No where else to go,

I hide my fear,

Deep in my heart,

Fear of not being free,

Into my words,

I do depart,

Where I can be me,

Out of the Rockies,

White capped in snow,

Where I came back from,

Out be the ocean,

Within my city,

I can hide from none,

The place of hiding,

Of which I speak,

With no one but me,

Is in the wild,

So full of eyes,

All creation can see,

Yet here I am,

Where people roam,

And passion does not rise,

For through the heart,

Vision flows true,

I am invisible to their eyes,

Yet the place I speak,

Of which I left,

Within me did impart,

The love of life,

And souls held dear,

Forever within my heart.

Connections

This was inspired by the people we have met and the wonderful conversations we have had at the Strater Hotel in Durango, Colorado.  This is truly a nexus where the east and west meet in our country, and people of different countries come together as one.  The true Victorian decor of this 125 year old hotel brings past and present together dispelling the illusion of time, leaving one with the essential truths of who we are together under God.

Amidst the hallways,

Clothed in the past,

As if from a film,

Wrought woodwork,

A splash of class,

From another time,

Comes another world,

Adorned of doorways,

Where many slept,

Through time flow,

How many wept,

Crisis comes and goes,

Living joys and woes,

Laughter follows tears,

As many have come here,

Erected on a head of land,

Holding a crown of mountains,

Both nobleman and cowboy,

Needed a place of rest,

Coming to the best,

Cultures which clash,

Find common ground,

In conversation,

Connection found,

Heart and spirit meet,

Producing living heat,

Spreads from soul to soul,

From wilderness undefiled,

A magic beautiful and wild,

For the souls that traveled past,

Left a joy to share and last,

Which is felt within the walls,

Colored Victorian glory,

Attracting travel of world,

From nations come to share,

And take the magic forth,

As a soul is touched by many,

The one returns to his land,

With magic making many whole,

For God gave the gift transference,

Found here shown at its best,

For my soul has been blessed,

With connections.

Kiva Spirits

The canyon lies before me,

The familiar far behind,

Down the steep stone sides,

The colors beckon the heart,

As I travel into the depths,

To find a lair once lived,

A civilization long ago,

Indians of the canyons,

Thriving and residing,

Building their homes,

In the cliff side caves,

Square living spaces,

I climb inside exploring,

And can almost see faces,

Grinding corn feeding,

Sewing clothes weaving,

Seeing life’s meaning,

Found in focused spaces,

Within descending circles,

I climb down underground,

Into a room perfectly round,

Where they lit a fire center,

Gathering for ceremonies,

They sought full wisdom,

And as I close my eyes,

They begin to appear,

Faces etched in firelight,

Colors of life adorned,

As I listen to the drums,

Wordless songs allure,

As the stars begin to swirl,

Around the voice of our souls,

Pulling impure from within,

Allowing peace to begin,

For perhaps the love of God,

Is found in music beyond words,

And in opening watering eyes,

I ascend again to the sun,

To write of the Kiva room,

And the love there once sung,

By the spirits who were born,

And the souls which never die.

 A picture I took in a Kiva room.

The Eyes of a Lady

Your eyes can see through time,

Yet you cannot see your beauty,

Sculpted of alabaster curves,

With the warmth of eternity,

And yet forever young,

You cannot see your wisdom,

Yet you see things before all,

Knowing without evidence,

Things that will come,

Knowing through heart,

All what I can not see,

You do not see meaning,

Yet meaning surrounds you,

As I see life through new eyes,

For your eyes will never dim,

You are the brightness from God,

A living warmth of artistic grace,

Emotions not following rules,

Yet rules cannot frame you,

My life is more wonderful,

Seen through your eyes.

When Stars Fade

I wrote this after hearing the news that John Denver's Windstar Foundation is selling their land and closing their doors forever.  This was a great institution that not only made a difference in environmental conservation so people could have better lives, this led to the Hunger Project which literally saved thousands of lives.

Within an antique shop,

I see books with many names,

Names of those who lived and loved,

And whom I have never known,

Leaving their legacies,

They wrote from their hearts,

Making a difference,

In the ways they lived,

Yet today unknown,

Save for the lone explorer,

Seeking the wisdom,

From the forgotten years,

And seeing the musican,

Who changed the world,

Through words and guitar,

He became a voice,

Through loving without limit,

He became a force,

Not all within self,

But through other hearts,

Inspiring actions,

Which could make the change,

His foundation stood,

On the slopes of Aspen,

A paradise of nature,

For all the hearts yearning,

To find their way back,

To being a force of life,

The foundation passing,

Can not change,

All the passing changes,

Which have come in our lives,

For the singer told us,

To each do what we can,

For all good that we do,

Works for a better life,

Though changes must come,

My heart will not change,

And his word lives in my heart,

Though the stars fade away.

The Legend of Georgetown

"What Colorado was, Georgetown is."

This poem was inspired by a visit to Georgetown, Colorado  which was the setting for the John Denver film, A Christmas Gift.  This is a place which has to be seen to be felt.

Nothing is newer,

Than a century old,

Yet nothing is old,

Where life breathes new,

Within a pocket of time,

Nestled between mountains,

The legend awaits,

For the traveler to come,

As the warmth of the past,

Meets the heart of the future,

Time begins to slow,

The traveler begins to stroll,

Before old store fronts,

Only seen within cinemas,

And yet here they stand,

In the truth of the sunlight,

A treasure was foretold,

To be found upon these streets,

The mountains stand above,

Like guardians of the light,

For courage is required,

To make a quest come true,

And passion is the key,

For taking the next step,

While into a shop,

Curiosity beckons,

And the traveler comes,

To find what comes next,

Amidst things of the past,

The traveler beholds,

For they are signposts,

Of the road we have come,

While the townspeople tell,

Of all they can share,

A tapestry is woven,

From words of the heart,

And before each soul,

The magic is done,

For the legend foretold,

Is of finding great treasure,

For knowing one’s self,

Is the treasure that’s true,

And the traveler does bring,

The magic which sings,

And the legend foretells,

The traveler is you.

Without Love

You can find uncharted lands,

Discover lost cities,

But it is nothing,

Without love.

You can reach other worlds,

Bring humanity to the stars,

Yet it is nothing,

Without love.

Striving to heal others,

While remaining unhealed,

There is no power,

Without love.

Having faith is empty,

Rituals are meaningless,

For there is no God,

Without love.

Why are we here?

What are the answers?

If we are to find them,

We must find love.

Who Am I?

 

The Binding

 

For Brandon

I know you feel you could have stopped your brother's death, as those same thoughts haunted me when my brother died.  There is no explaining why these things must happen.  We keep them alive in our hearts while using God's wisdom to make their lives continue to count for something on Earth.

Just a couple of travelers,

On the road in the night,

Just a couple of brothers,

Looking for some light,

For supplies we came inside,

Our souls we could not hide,

Kindred spirits of the truth,

To whom nothing is denied,

We both lost one close to us,

We both lost what’s part of us,

On a cycle he departed my heart,

Now residing within forever,

Yours a candle in the wind,

Blown out before your eyes,

The instant when you sighed,

Your hands did not snuff the light,

Though the darkness knew you cried,

And now your sleep escapes you,

As it once escaped me,

Both of us together,

What a sight to see,

Yet I carry your fire,

As you well carry mine,

That it will hold us in the night,

Wherever we both may go,

From this time we always know,

Knowledge and strength God gives,

That we may continue the fight.

The Sorrow of Laughter

I wrote this thinking of a friend going through great difficulty.  There is family, and counseling happening.  There are moments of joy, and great sadness.  I feel a grief in this person so insurmountable that self realization seems to be impossible.  Nothing is impossible with God.  I can never believe in impossibilities as my wife and I stand by this person's side.

I can see you,

But I cannot feel,

I can hear you,

Speak of what is real,

Life and love abound,

Pain and grief confounds,

I do not know where I’m going,

While the bell is tolling.

People smile around me,

I can see them laughing,

I can hear them speaking,

But I do not understand,

I smile as they laugh,

Their joy may be real,

Trapped behind this glass,

Their joy I cannot feel.

I cannot face what is,

It is growing inside me,

I cannot feel your love,

You have it right beside me,

I taste tears in your words,

And then I laugh again,

I just do not see why,

You can be my friend.

Sometimes I feel crazy,

Not knowing who I am,

You say God is holding me,

Safe within His hand,

Yet the symbol of you here,

Is the sign that He is near,

I pray for strength daily,

As I try to understand.